The upside down
Are we all running away,
from the same thing that ,
we are running towards?
They say life is a circle.
But it can’t get any
shittier if that’s the case.
I open the doors of my room
which I usually don’t step out,
to break everything in my house
I made a replica of this world in
my head. The laws of Physics still hold.
But I’m different.
I scream. I scream my voice out.
My heartbeat is fast here.
Almost triply uneven. I sweat.
All I hear is a resonance of my
thoughts and the echo of my
voice. Welcome to me, in here.
I open the doors of my room of
which I usually don’t step out. I
break everything in my house.
There’s no one to stop me.
I look at the shattered vessels
and glass pieces fallen across
this empty floor. I feel bad but
still good. Relieved perhaps.
Time is frozen here. Only here.
It is in abundance. But I have to
go back. I know that. I like it
here.
It’s just an endless sea,
of my world with no one ,
to tell me or ask me anything,
like an apocalypse.
Pain is ubiquitous here,
Maybe this is pain,
everything.
But strangely it feels good.
Adjusted.
Let me describe this world to you,
This world has no human.
It has the same geography as
my world. Our world.
There are no people. No memories.
There’s no need to eat food to
live. There are no bills and
mortgages.
I can just drive to
the beach and come back
whenever I want. There are no
rules, feels dimensionless.
The real world is chaotic,
filled with noise and dirt.
There are humans but no humanity,
There is faith but no God.
There is science but no proof.
There is sleep but no peace.
There are rules but they don’t apply to few.
There are equations but no solutions.
I know time is running for everyone,
it’s in everything, It IS everything.
I can feel it in my ever increasing heart beat,
I can measure the tone it takes
to drop the sweat off my face
when I workout in gym,
I can see it slow down when I’m miserable.
I can see it run out of my grasp like my emotions do,
trying to hold water in the gaps of my fingers,
I can see it run at the speed of light,
when I’m hit with train of negative thoughts.
I can see it stand still in a dog’s eyes.
Just like how I can see it freeze,
when I look at a sky full of stars.
But today, everything seems so fast and fiery,
My thoughts, my heartbeat, people around me.
They are all so fast.
I just, I just need some time.
Some alone time, is all I ask.
SOME TIME AND SPACE IS ALL I NEED.
- ©Pavithra Sridhar
